Independence is Overrated

I talked with my brother last night. He called me out of the blue, which isn't common for us. For the most part in our family, we text each other to set up a date and time that works for both parties. I was just about to head out the door to go to a friend's house and I'm not at my best when plans change quickly, so I considered not answering. On the last ring I changed my mind and answered.

He told me about some significant progress he was making with his work. We also talked about the vacation the whole family recently took to go visit Jake out in San Diego, where he lives. We agreed that the vacation was very productive and helped realign our family goals (hence this blog). I told him again about how I was happy that we were doing this blog if for no other reason than staying in touch with the family. With me living in Columbus, Jake in San Diego, Brynn at college and the family up near Cleveland, it can be tough to keep up with each other, but as I've grown over the last couple years it's become very clear to me how important family is. 

There was once a time where I did everything I could to separate myself from my family. Not because I didn't love them; I've always loved and admired them. But I always wanted to be independent from them. I wanted to strike out and make a name for myself, "be my own man." I had this image in my head where I would live in the big city, doing my own things with my own friends and maybe visiting the family every once in a while, maybe on holidays.

The good news is I achieved that goal, and the great news is it's helped me realize that independence isn't all it's cracked up to be. Why would I want to have to support myself physically, emotionally and mentally when I have deep sources of strength available all around me? Exercising alone is hard, but when I know my girlfriend is exercising at the same time, it motivates me. I can laugh at a funny joke I see on my phone, but it's a lot funnier when my friends are laughing alongside me. I can get through tough times on my own, but it's a lot easier to work through that pain when you have the love and support of people who know you better than you know yourself. 

I'm not looking for independence anymore, and I'm not looking for dependence either. I'm looking for co-dependence.

I'm glad Jake called me to remind me of that. And hopefully I'll answer his phone call a little quicker next time.