Zack Vayda and his Emotions: Part 4

The topic is Emotional Intelligence. Part 1 was an overview of Emotional Intelligence v. Informational Intelligence, Part 2 proved the existence of Emotional Intelligence and just how important it is, and Part 3 explained a two-step process to work towards Emotional control. Part 4, the last in this series, shows exactly what Emotional Intelligence can do for you and me. 

Closer to Wisdom

In past blogs I touched on how an understanding of Emotional Intelligence only elevates the quality of Informational Intelligence. The two go hand in hand; the person who has mastered both is what we call wise. These wise people, people we look to for guidance and input are able to weigh the problem on both the Emotional and Informational scales. Building your own understanding of Emotional Intelligence only brings you closer to wisdom. You know the parent you always go to for advise, or the teacher you respect most, or the grandparent who taught you everything you know? Why wouldn't you want to be more like them? I personally aspire to be the wise person others come to for help, and the good news is I know what I have to do to get there.

Appreciation for Others

When first delving into Emotional Intelligence, I used to see it as a filter or lens in which to view the world. I don't think that's true anymore, in fact I'd say the opposite is true. Emotional Intelligence allows you to remove filters or lenses that you didn't even know were in the way. For example, when I had my first revelation with my Emotional growth, I was able to understand and appreciate people in my life that I hadn't been able to before. I was able to grasp what my girlfriend did for me when she didn't call me out on my rude behavior, because she could see I would come to that conclusion on my own soon, and that it would benefit me more if I see my own shortcomings. I now understand the depth of Emotional understanding my little sister Meg exhibits through her selfless, endless acts of kindness for those around her. This process revealed to me the incredible way my mother takes a deep interest in whatever is interesting to me when we talk, whether it's a real passion of hers or not, and that selfless empathy has led to countless productive conversations.
It's not like my girlfriend and sister and mother weren't doing these things before my "revelation," they had been doing that all along. In that way, filters are clearly being removed, not added. Emotional Intelligence gives you an entirely new understanding of what others are constantly sacrificing for you. If you feel unloved or that no one cares about you, remove those unnecessary filters so you can see just how loved you are.

Discrediting your Insecurities

Let's jump back to picturing those people you respect most, the people who have clearly mastered Emotional Intelligence. These "masters" control their emotions, and if they can control them, it means they know emotions are in no way a part of who they are. They would say "I feel upset," not, "I am upset." They understand emotion has nothing to do with their personality, but is simply a method of communicating and empathizing with others. This is an important matter: Emotions are in no way a part of who you are as a person. You are bigger than emotions, and as you master your emotions, you'll see that you exist beyond them. 
Do you know what this means? This means you don't have to feel shame for looking different than other people, because You are bigger than shame. You don't have to let your hatred of your father fester inside you, because You are bigger than anger. Your life doesn't need to be shaped by how sad you always feel, because You are bigger than depression. 

Emotional Intelligence removes unnecessary filters from your life. It can remove the filters of shame and sadness and anger, it can remove the filters that make you think you aren't loved, it can remove the filter that doesn't allow you to appreciate the people around you as they should be appreciated, and it can remove the filter holding you back from being the person that others look up to and respect.

Emotional Intelligence is an honorable pursuit, because it brings you and everyone around you one step closer to happiness.